I can’t think of a finer way to celebrate the jewel in south London’s crown, the Lambeth Country Show, than to pay homage to it in gifs. Welcome to my world, it involves pigs, carrots, beer, burgers and a miniature railway.
Field of Carrots
Every year the highlight of the Lambeth Country Show is the vegetable sculpting competition and this year I entered (along with my housemates Lizzie and Josie, and our Brixton Massive Crew, Maya and Dot) with a recreation of Antony Gormley’s “Field of Dreams” and “Angel of the North” rendered in root vegetables, including carrots, parsnips, sweet potato and butternut squash.
When setting it up in the marquee, we were filmed by a television crew for some countryside cookery programme for the Beeb next year, so if you want to see a sweaty, hungover me with smudged eyeliner shrieking about whittling carrots and grinning maniacally at the camera, watch out for that…
Friday night jerk break!
After attending a public meeting about the Tesco takeover of Music Bar on Brixton Hill, we got down to a Friday night of vegetable carving. But you can’t whittle a parsnip on an empty stomach, as the saying goes, and you can’t have a proper Brixton Friday night without jerk chicken from Negril. A platter involves jerk chicken, festival dumplings, coleslaw, gravy, rice and peas, plantain, chips, salad, hot sauce. We got two.
Culmination of a dream
For years Dot has talked about Brockwell Park’s miniature railway, which has been closed for repairs. We spend many a Friday night in summer getting drunk in the park and discussing the dream: volunteering to drive the miniature train, or at least ride it. The Lambeth Country Show gods provided: for a mere £1, we got a return ticket to the dream destination.
Bonus fun: scariest funfair ride ever, though the views over the park, the lido and Herne Hill were pretty awesome.
BABE 2: PIG IN THE CITY
Another joy of the country show is the events in the main arena: the first year I went, I saw sheepdog trials done with Indian running ducks instead of sheep, and the dog bit one of the ducks and was basically an untrained miscreant, and it was brilliant. Sadly last year a torrential downfall stopped me enjoying Russian cossack war horses or whatever, so this year’s pig races (with bonus runaway pig and surly teenagers) was a highlight.
Food, friends and fabulosity
It’s impossible to eat everything on offer at the country show, but we gave it a solid effort, from breakfast coffee and scones to fresh hot doughnuts dipped in chocolate to mac and cheese with bacon to burgers to falafel wraps and everything in between, all lubricated with lager and lols.
I’m a fucking moustache finger tattoo away from being an insufferable hipster with my polka dot dress, casual “oh the BBC filmed me at the country show” chat and ironic vegetable sculpting, so why not tip this thing into critical mass and GIF my INSTAGRAMS from the weekend? Game changer.